I’m Going in the Right Direction

The weeks are running away! It’s already March on Tuesday and I have soon lived in Paris for five months. And it feels like it was yesterday that I wrote a Sunday update for you guys.
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This week’s achievements;
Freelance business:

I actually just applied for two missions and got one! So this week I’ve done my first translation job. Very very happy about that!

Happy Careerista: 
I’m very very happy about this week’s posts too! Two weeks of posts in the direction I want to go, is a great sign that I’m starting to figure out my style. It has been a lot of posts about love and spirituality, but I will try to put in more business and success for next week. I’ve also thought about improvements for the design and started to plan a newsletter. The blog is really growing, slowly but steady, and it’s more and more fun to run it 🙂

Personal:
This week I’ve been quite lonely. Maybe because I’ve chosen not see almost any friends at all but to fully focus on MYSELF. I’ve been able to identify what’s good and less good about me, and how to improve what’s less good. And it seems that I’ve improved according to the people close to me. I’ve also realized that I feel a huge need of a local mastermind group. This means a group of friends that live close to me and are into the same things as me; business, personal development, real happiness etc. I can only come up with one person like that, and it would be great with a few more. Because, you know what they say, you’re the average of the 5 people you spend most time with.

Other than feeling “lonely” and improving myself as a person, I’ve had a GREAT work flow and a less good routine flow. I’ve been cheating too much on both morning and evening routines! I’ve also felt truly happy. I think writing about happiness has a very positive impact on me.
Next week I want to;
Personal: 
I want to keep the great work flow, to keep improving and be stricter with my routines. I can’t really wish for more. Everything is going in the right direction which I’m very happy about.

Work:
I will work from home all next week so I hope to be as productive as I can with a few breaks to see friends and loved ones. I want to plan the re-launch for Instagram, write perhaps two blog posts a day, plan the newsletter, do more freelance jobs…

I already feel that next week, and the beginning of March will be awesome for productivity and creativity. Surf the flow with me!
Bonne semaine!

Finding Happiness in Everyday Life

Happiness can be so simple. So simple. If you just lower your expectations on yourself and life! Would you say that you have a foundation of happiness in your soul? If not, let’s build that foundation today!

At the age of 16, I read a very special book about the soul and the intuition. In the first chapters, the authors wrote about having a foundation of happiness in you before anything else. Once you have it, you can go ahead and conquer the world. You can handle situations better, you can handle your emotions better and you attract even more positive things in life. When you have your foundation of happiness, you can build a good, happy life on it.

What is a foundation of happiness? It is a simple, peaceful but strong happiness. You feel it when you’re not doing anything special, when you’re alone, the minute you wake up and when you’re doing regular things. You feel happy even if you’re not having “fun”.

It’s appreciating the smallest things and being grateful for things we normally take for granted. Do you often feel unsatisfied with life? Then it’s time to stop and take a look around you. Appreciate the cool breeze on a hot day. Appreciate the random text your partner sends you. Be grateful for your family who has your back, that you are healthy, that you live in a peaceful country etc. If you feel the appreciation and gratitude from deep within, you’re on the right track.

When you appreciate the smallest things in life and see beauty in everything around you, you become a very positive and happy person. This effects your environment and people just can’t resist being around you. Suddenly, doors you never thought would open for YOU, will!

It doesn’t take much to be genuinely happy. Money, cars, jewelry will perhaps make your ego happy for a period of time, but when you love life for real, life will love you even more. With your foundation of happiness that you feel from the depth of your soul, you’ll be able to handle EVERY situation.

Because of this simple and genuine happiness, I was able to handle my teenage very well. I tackled breakups, failures, friend issues, money issues etc. very well to be so young. I saw everything, the good and the bad, as a lesson. I still do, and I still learn so much.

I have issues today, but I’m so happy to have come so far and I’m determined to overcome whatever obstacle that appears in my way. Build your foundation of happiness. Feel it, nourish it and believe in it. And you’ll be more than alright.

happyfriday

 

Don’t be the Suffering Woman behind the Man

There is a quote that you can find all over Instagram, and it’s

“Behind every successful man, there’s a woman”

Many successful men agree to this, and as a successful woman I believe you need a good man too. But then we have these suffering and unhappy women behind some successful men. They give up their dreams to support their man, they are eventually forgotten and less appreciated once they have the ring on their finger and are tied to their man. There are a bunch of movies I’ve seen lately that has made me realize this more and more. Let me give you some examples;

The Walk

The walk is about a French wire walker who is simply obsessed with his dream. Early on in the movie he finds his woman. Throughout this movie, she is by his side all the time even though he barely seems to acknowledge her. He even at some point, accuses her for not believing in him, even though she gave up everything and went to the U.S. with him. Once he has achieved his dream, she eventually decides to leave and find her own dream. Yay to that woman!

The Theory of Everything

This is the movie about Stephan Hawking’s life, a normal young guy who during university finds out that he has a decease that will shorten his live to only 2 years. His girlfriend decides to marry him and take care of him. Despite what his doctors said, he lived longer than 2 years and still lives today. His wife spent so many years taking care of him and their children and in the movie it is clear how she started to feel less appreciated for all the work she did. She stayed 30 years going from a woman in love to an exhausted woman who felt no love from her husband anymore. She eventually divorced him and married a man who really desired to love her.

Jobs

I have already mentioned Steve Jobs behavior in another blog post but I would like to use him as an example again. His first girlfriend who also gave birth to his first child, was a woman who seemed to stand by him when he started Apple and did almost nothing but work. The day she told him she was pregnant, he refused to take any responsibility whatsoever and would throw her out of his house. Not until several years he would allow his daughter to see him.

Legend

legend

This movie is one of the most recent and is about the gangster brothers of London, the Krays. The first half of the movie is amusing with a lot of humor and loads of romance between Reggie Kray and his girlfriend. She stands by him even through some time in jail and defends him all the time. He treats her like a loving girlfriend should be treated until they get married. That’s when it all falls apart. The more full of himself and obsessed with his gangsterness he gets, the more he forgets to love and cherish his wife, who still stands by his side. It even ends with him beating her up and raping her. Even if this is the 60’s, she decides to leave. But it’s too late. Her life is nothing to her without him. For years she has built a life surrounding him and adapted her to him. Reggie Kray tries to get his wife back but she knows it’s not going to get better. Sadly, she takes the decision to end her life and not until then, he understand what he took for granted and lost.

Yes, I know that these are movies that may or may not cover the whole truth. Yes, I know this is not always the case for the wives of successful men. And yes, all these women made the decision to be with these men. They decided to give up their own lives to stand by their men. But it doesn’t always end well.

I’ve been close to giving up some of my dreams for someone I loved. And sometimes I feel like I do that still. Like I accept things even though I might not like it. I know that we women sometimes act out of love first. But we have to be careful on who we give it to.

So here I make the promise to myself to never ever give up my own individual life and my dreams for anyone. Never will I settle to just be someone’s wife. I promise though, to be a loving and committed partner to a man who respects and supports my dreams as much as I respect and support his. You should always give 100% love and support to your partner but when you notice that you get less than that over and over again, somethings need to change. Don’t be too nice. Don’t be too accepting. Don’t have too high or too low expectations on your relationship but TALK. I know it’s hard to find this balance, but one day you’ll find it.

Healthy Habits #3

I’ve already made two posts about healthy habits that I’m currently applying, healthy habit #1 and #2. First it was nutrition and then exercise, two subjects that always seem to go hand in hand.

So, have I made any progress? With the nutrition, I’ve been really good at eating everything except for sweets. I never have anything sweet at home except for some dark chocolate and a Nutella jar I barely touch. I’ve been good at trying to vary my food between fish, white meat, red meat and vegetarian, rice, pasta, potato etc. Something that I have done though, is to replace my meals with sandwiches and it has occurred many times. Even though a toast with butter and garlic is insanely good and simple to make, I have to keep that for breakfast or afternoon snack.

And with the exercise… Not as much running as I would have wanted. Should I blame it on the rainy Parisian winter? No, no excuses. BUT, I’ve been really consistent with my morning routine which includes circuit training and some cardio for warmup. Just how I like it! My legs have been so sore lately. That’s a lovely feeling to me!

The third healthy habit is not as much about the body as nutrition and exercise. It’s about the SPIRIT.

Current situation: I’ve already started to apply this. I have been a very spiritual person for many years, but lately I haven’t felt 100% connected to my soul and intuition and felt lack of inner peace. I had to get that back into my life and routines. So here is what I do and what to continue doing;

meditation

Healthy Habit #3:

  • Meditation should be a natural part of my morning- and evening routine
  • See spiritual books and videos just as important as books related to business and success
  • Include more me-time every day, even if it’s just a hot, calm shower before bed
  • Candles and incenses should be used more at home
  • Be more consistent with visualizing

Like I said, I’ve already applied this since a week now and it is working amazingly. As soon as you open up to connect with your soul, it will be there for you, eager to connect with you.

If you want to apply some of these as well, let me recommend you two Youtube channels for meditation; www.youtube.com/jbittersweet

~Namaste~

The Compound Effect – Review

Title: The Compound Effect

Author: Darren Hardy

Area: Personal Development

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Do you feel like your life is miserable? Or that it’s good but could be better? Or that you just want to know more about success in all aspects of life? This is the book with a capital B.

This is a crystal clear book about how positive habits can over time change your life for the better. And you know what? It’s actually pretty short. Hardy covers the main principles of the powerful compound effect in under 200 pages. He has cut out the unnecessary details and stuck to the essential information of all the thousands lessons he has learned. He has taken this essential information and put it into six parts. He presents these six parts with a few simple examples. He has basically written a book about success and hard work, but in such a simple way that anyone could understand and apply these methods into their lives. The text in itself is clear and simple, but to make it even easier for the reader to go back to the chapters while applying these methods, he has put a list of key action points in the end of every chapter.

What happened to me while reading this book? I’ll admit, I was going through a personal struggle. It was a mix of the present and the past. I know so many ways to have a happy foundation in life by heart, but I was being effected by external things which outsourced the voice from inside – my intuition. I didn’t feel that inner peace anymore and had so many negative thoughts in my head constantly. Finally, I got determined that I have to get back to the confident, happy and peaceful person I used to be. Reading this book during both my struggle and my way back, I had many a-ha’s and realizations. I know in my heart that the things Hardy talks about in this book is true and it just validated my philosophy even more. For example, I know that you create your life from choices. If you keep making poor choices, your life will reflect that. If you keep having the same negative habits, your life will reflect this.

I’ve been writing a lot about positive habits that I want in  life and reading about Hardy’s methods and knowledge surrounding habits made it even more clear to me. Now I really really put effort in changing my habits, eliminating habits and installing habits. Less social media, more meditation, more time with people who add value to your life rather than people who don’t etc.

Also, Hardy put some assessments to help the reader identify the negative habits, bad influences, how show more gratitude etc. He is putting all his effort into making your life better with this book.

Hardy is not into the magic. He promotes hard work. I trust every word he says, since he has logical and solid examples and have some of the most successful people backing him up. So if you’re out to make your life world-class, then this book is simply a must-read.

More Darren Hardy: 

Next book: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

Cloudy Paris

 

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Sunday morning and a cloudy Paris. The week is over and it’s time to look back at it and see what I achieved and what I could have done better.

I still don’t have any wifi at home, so I’ve been ‘working’ on my phone, sometimes shared my 3G to the computer and one day I hit a co-working café. The focus has been on my routines, habits, my inner peace and reading actually. And it’s ok.

Achievements this week;

Freelancing business: I’ve done a very small amount of work here. I’ve designed a logo for the website which I’m pretty happy about. It’s simple and clean. Next step is to get started with a mission, probably translation.

Happy Careerista: This week I’m very satisfied with the content of this blog. I want to continue delivering posts of this quality. Agree or disagree? 🙂

Other than the posts, I’ve gotten ideas on how to develop the blog. Ideas I want to start working on now right away! Stay tuned.

Personal: The social media break is real. I’ve reduced my use so much and just this weekend I’ve avoided them completely. I’ve only opened Messenger to reply to a message. Right now my three most used apps on my phone is iBooks, Notes and WordPress. Yay!

I’ve found my reading flow and finally finished The Compound Effect and started Think and Grow Rich.

My French has developed a lot in the listening area. I’m able to understand a lot more now than just a month ago.

My discipline has been so good this week and I truly believe it’s because I’ve reduced ‘junk food’ for my mind. My morning and evening routines are crucial to me now, I make smarter and better choices all the time and I feel like I’m stable in and connected to my soul. Meditation, reading and reducing, folks.

I have put myself and my happiness first this week and I really needed it. I’ve cut contact with people who don’t give me anything valuable, I’ve eaten properly and healthy, I’ve cleaned and de-cluttered my home and room, put up notes with lyrics that I love and quotes that inspire me. I’m in a positive flow.

Next week I want to;

Personal: I want to continue feeling happy and confident, continue strengthen my habits and make my routines even more efficient.  I want to stay in this reading flow in order to finish my current book faster than previous one. Social media will still be reduced and this will create a habit for the future that makes my time minimum 90% real life and maximum 10% social media. And I want to spend more time with people who are like-minded and valuable to me.

Work: I want to be able to do my best and really contribute in my regular job. I want to start a mission as freelancer. I want to continue writing quality content for this blog and continue developing the ideas I had for Happy Careerista. I want to prioritize these two projects for now.

Happy Sunday!

 

Darren Hardy; Keeping the Love and Intimacy Alive

I confess! I’m obsessed with the science of love and relationships! If you read my previous blog post you get a pretty good idea on how I view love.

In the latest book I read, The Compound Effect, I picked up something very interesting; what the author, Darren Hardy, does to achieve his goal to deepen the love and intimacy of his marriage. To some, this might sound very stiff and has too much planning in it. In fact, it sounds like that to me too, but I really do think it works in the long run. Perfect for a married couple or a long term relationship.

Here’s what he does; he has designed a weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly schedule;

Every week, Hardy and his wife have a date night on Fridays where they totally disconnect from work. This night continues with a ‘family day’ on Saturday where none of them do any work and just spend time with each other and family. That’s a great way to both go all in on work during the rest of the week and then focus fully on each other and the relationship during Friday night and Saturday.

Every Sunday they also sit down to have something very interesting they call a ‘relationship review’. This might sound not romantic at all and he says this himself in the book but if you actually want a long term relationship or even a marriage to work and stay strong, this could be a very powerful tool. What Hardy and his wife do is that they review how their relationship has been during the week. First the wins and all the things they appreciated especially. Then they rank their relationship on a scale from one to ten (ten being the best) and ask what they could have done to get it to a ten. Here comes the discussion of the less good things, but in a calm way. This could be a tool for those who have a hard time giving constructive critique or receiving critique (guilty!). Just like Hardy writes, they both feel heard after this review and they both know what they need to work on for the next week.

Every month the couple schedule something special and memorable. It could be having a spa-day or a day away somewhere in a city close by. Creating memories is one of the most beautiful things you can do in a relationship, but also one of the healthiest as it boosts and strengthens it. Then you both can look back at all the things you’ve experienced together and smile.

Every quarter the Hardys plan a short get away for two-three days. And every year they also have one longer vacation and their holiday traditions.

I think what Hardy means by all this planning, is that having things for your relationship scheduled is just as important as scheduling everything else you want to succeed in. If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to put in effort. And frankly I really like this yearly-, quarterly-, monthly- and weekly scheduling. In the long run, this is going to make you pay attention to your partner and your relationship regularly and that is very very important.

Summary

Hardy and his wife schedules;

Weekly

  • A date night
  • A family day without work
  • A ‘Relationship Review’

Monthly

  • Something memorable

Quarterly

  • A two-three day get away

Yearly

  • Special vacation
  • Holiday traditions

What do you think about this planning? Would you consider doing it or not?

Focus on what’s meaningful

We live in a very special and sometimes hard time. Many things seem to lose its value. One of these things is love. I’m proud to say I’m old fashioned in this field.

  • I believe in true love
  • I believe in long term relationships
  • I believe in soul mates
  • I believe in marriage

For as long as I can remember, I’ve preferred a relationship before something non-serious. To me, just hooking up with random guys or see just one person but not putting any effort into it was time consuming, energy consuming and would make me feel completely empty. Now, I’m not saying I’m a perfect angel or that it’s wrong to have fun. The most important thing in life is to do what’s right for you, of course. But I want to spend my life focusing on what’s truly meaningful.

Romance, real romance, seems to be something we cringe about now a days. A guy is weak if he cries. He is even weaker if he cries because of a woman. To me, this is just a sign that this man has emotions and dares to show that he’s human.

I’m one of these people who are afraid of falling in love. Not because I think it’s a bad thing. I’m just afraid of falling in love with the wrong person and to be hurt. Because I constantly want to be strong, independent and in no need of a man.  But for every year and every love I go through I get braver and braver. Because all I do when I get hurt is learning more about relationships and I what I want from it. I deserve to feel a real deep love and to seek it is nothing wrong. As long as I love myself first.

I want you to dare to love, just like I have to. Dare to commit to a person thinking he or she will be your only one. Dare to work on your problems instead of escaping them. Dare to have lower expectations on your partner, accepting their flaws and love them unconditionally. Dare to be the grand parents that inspire their grand children by sticking together and nourishing your love for 50 years.  And most of all – don’t be ashamed for being a romantic and a believer in love. Those who work and believe will achieve.

Current Routines

I thought I’d share my current morning/evening routines with you;


Morning Routine

  1. The first thing I do when the alarm goes off, is to open my curtains to force myself to take in some sun light. Then I take a few minutes to think about three things I’m grateful for and then I visualize quickly about my next goal in different aspects in life.
  2.  When I’m done I sit up and take my phone off airplane mode and wake up by checking the notifications.
  3. I put on my gym wear and do a run or/and a work out to get the blood pumping.
  4. I calm down by stretching and doing a meditation for a few minutes. I usually put on a meditation video to just relax and follow the instructions.
  5. Now I’m awake, but relaxed and positive about the day so I jump in the shower and get dressed.
  6. I sit in bed or in the living room for 30 minutes with a book.
  7. Then, I make breakfast and while eating it, I plan my day and review my goals.
  8. Ready for the day!


Evening Routine

  1. I take some time to review the day. Did it go as planned, what should I get better at tomorrow, any specific ideas or thoughts came up?
  2. Then I go do my ‘beauty rituals’. Shower, body lotion, fix my nails etc.
  3. Again, I read my book for 30 minutes in bed.
  4. I put on a meditation video for relaxation and meditate.
  5. I’m usually very sleepy at this point, so I put my phone on airplane mode and sleep.

Sacrifice Love for Success?

In many success stories we hear about people who get so obsessed with succeeding that they seem to forget about time and space. Or just the people around them, even those who love them the most. Have you ever seen ‘Jobs’ about the Apple founder Steve Jobs? He was clearly an amazing innovator and entrepreneur, but at the time as he worked his hardest, was he really happy and loved? He became so obsessed with the product, he forgot to cherish the people who had helped him to the top. And one by one, they left him. He even got fired from his own company. Once he started to work smarter and me more caring he made a come back to Apple and gained BIG success with the iPod, iPhone and the iPad…

steve

Do you recognize this? The ones who work so much and choose to forget about their loved ones, end up perhaps successful but alone. Some might like it. But, personally, this will never be me.

Life to me is more than my career. It’s greater than my income. My career is an important part of my life, but so are my family, my friends, my love, my hobbies, experiences etc. Is a fast and great success worth hurting the ones that care about you? Is it worth to let them feel forgotten, unwanted and unsupported because you’re too busy with your own goals?

beckhams

Believe me, you do have to work hard for your own goals. No one will do that for you. But it’s so so important to set off time to see friends, have a date with your partner, call your mother etc. I truly believe that giving them love and care will make them give you even more love and care to boost you with energy that will be useful when you work. It’s all about finding a balance and to never forget how important and healthy love is. Be egoistic, in a good way and always genuinely appreciate the people in your life.